“In all things there is a poison, and there is nothing without a poison. It depends only on the dose whether a poison is a poison or not.” - Paraclesus

Most of us have had a drink or several in our lives. So we know very well the effect that one, or one too many, has on our bodies. In fact, I would dare to wager that a large majority of us have had the not so pleasurable experience of waking up the morning after a particularly bad bender and moaning, “I can’t believe I did that.” Which is the very reason that alcohol has received its fair share of bad press over the years. But what’s really going on inside our bodies? Is it fair to demonize the drink altogether, or should we only be chastising those who abuse it (including, if need be, ourselves)? Perhaps if we understand alcohol’s path through and collective effect on the human body, we’d all be more likely to respect our fair friend alcohol and consume it in moderation and good taste. So we won’t ever have to pledge to the porcelain god, “I’ll never drink again.” After all, we are men (and women) of action… lies do not become us.

As alcohol enters the body, 20% is absorbed by the stomach and about 80% is absorbed by the small intestine and almost immediately metabolized, dissolving in the bloodstream, which then carries it to every tissue of the body (except fat). Even though technically alcohol is a depressant (like barbiturates) a small amount actually stimulates the adrenal glands, which causes hormones to be discharged. The metabolism of the liver is disturbed and it begins dumping sugar into the bloodstream. This accounts for the initial “rush” or mild state of euphoria that one experiences with that first drink or two.

As more drinks are consumed and alcohol concentrations in the blood stream increase, this initial stimulation is lost and replaced by a depressant effect. Alcohol interferes with the communication between nerve cells (primarily those in the brain) and all other cells. The centers of the brain are affected in progressive order, starting with the cerebral cortex, which is in charge of processing information from your senses. This accounts for a breakdown of inhibitions, loss of judgment, increase in self-confidence, and talkativeness. The limbic system, which controls emotions and memory, comes next – mood swings, memory loss… Followed by the cerebellum, which coordinates the movements of muscles - loss of coordination and balance. The hypothalamus and pituitary gland are affected next, which serves to increase urination and sexual desire, while sadly impairing amatory performance simultaneously. The medulla (brain stem) is last to be affected. This area of the brain controls involuntary functions such as breathing, heart rate, temperature, and consciousness. At this phase, stupor comes first – inability to walk, move, or respond to stimuli. Eventually, coma and death can occur, but thankfully most people pass out before this phase is reached. By thoroughly understanding this progressive process, perhaps we will be more likely to heed our body’s warnings well before we reach the stupor stage.

No amount of coffee will “sober up” someone who’s had one too many. Time is the only cure. Count on one hour for every one ounce of alcohol to be processed through the body and eliminated. The kidneys excrete 5% in urine, the lungs exhale 5%, and the rest is broken down in the liver.

Let’s face facts, alcohol gets some pretty bad press. But the truth is, that a large majority of people are perfectly capable of enjoying their adult beverages in moderation. A glass or two of fine wine with dinner, a cocktail after work, a hot toddie on a cold day. But their stories don’t make the front page. H.L. Mencken wrote: “The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind.”  (Prejudices, Fourth Series, 1924) At its best, alcohol can inspire camaraderie, celebration, and creativity. It can help us relax, appreciate life, and even keep us a little healthier. It is also the world’s best truth detector, as observed by Thomas de Quincy in 1856: “It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.” (Confessions of an English Opium-Eater) Alcohol has and does have an important role in society. It is one of nature’s most beautiful and potent gifts. It is up to us to use it wisely, sparingly, and reverently. Cheers!