ANATOMY OF A HANGOVER
Orignally printed in Crush, October 2008 (bin #067)
In last month’s titillating issue of CRUSH, we explored alcohol’s trip through and effect on the human body, from initial euphoria to eventual stupor. This month, we traverse its aftermath, the dreaded veisalgia... Better known as, the hangover.
It’s probably safe to say that a large majority of us have experienced the self-inflicted pain of the morning after the annual office Christmas party, the open bar wedding, or some other such occasion where the alcohol is literally free-flowing. (Who can say no to free drinks?) Waking up feeling like you swallowed an entire bag of cotton balls (dry mouth), there’s a small army of tiny men with hammers trying to pound their way out of your brain (headache), a river of curdled milk has taken up residence in your stomach (nausea), and some particularly foul liquid is escaping your body from the wrong exit (diarrhea). We all know how it feels, but what’s causing our misery? How do we stop it? And is there a way to prevent it?
Alcohol reaches the pituitary gland and inhibits the creation of vasopressin (the antidiuretic hormone), resulting in the kidneys sending water directly to the bladder instead of absorbing some into the body. The more alcohol you drink, the more liquid your body loses. By the next morning, your head is literally screaming for water as your organs pull fluid from the brain in an attempt to rehydrate, causing the brain to shrink… And a lot of pain in the process. Consider dry mouth and headaches to be your body’s warning siren to hydrate immediately.
All those trips to the powder room last night also caused you to lose more than just the twelve beers you drank. Electrolytes, magnesium, and potassium also went swirling down the drain, and now that’s adversely affecting your cells, muscles, and nerves… Generally making you feel like you might die at any moment, or that you might be better off dead. Nausea and vomiting can be a side effect of dehydration or due to the fact that alcohol irritates the lining of the stomach, causing increased acid production. Watery diarrhea (sometimes referred to as Bud Mud) is most likely the result of your small intestine dumping all the alcohol it absorbed. The stores of glycogen (an important energy source) in your liver were also depleted last night, turned into glucose, and expelled, resulting in… You guessed it, fatigue, light-headedness, shakiness, weakness, and depressed coordination. Alcohol also disrupts normal biorhythms, leaving you wandering the house in the wee hours of the morning (usually in search of the elusive toilet which magically changed location in the night). A sleepless night only serves to compound your agony.
It is theorized that alcohol with high concentrations of congeners (byproducts of fermentation), such as red wine and dark liquors (bourbon, brandy, whiskey) increase the severity of your hangover. Some believe that white wine and clear spirits such as vodka, rum, and gin are less likely to leave you feeling like the living dead the next day. It is also thought that the reason your hangover is particularly acute after mixing drinks is because of the blending of these different congeners, or impurities. In addition, the carbonation in beer or mixed drinks with soda actually serves to speed up the absorption of alcohol into the body, leaving your body less time to process and expel toxins. So chasing a beer with a shot is a one-way ticket to a.m. regret.
If you’ve already entered Regret City and you’re in desperate search of the exit ramp, bypass the black coffee or hair of the dog and reach for a bottle or ten of water, eggs, bananas, and juice. Water is the fastest way to rehydrate and helps to dilute the leftover toxins in your stomach. Choosing an electrolyte water will simultaneously help to replenish all the glycogen and salt you expelled. If you must drink coffee, be careful, as it is a diuretic and can actually cause you to become even more dehydrated. Eggs are full of protein and will give you an energy boost to help you drag yourself off the couch (or the bathroom floor). They also contain cysteine, which helps to break down the toxins running amok in your liver. Bananas are rich in potassium, another vitamin that needs replenishing right about now. Likewise, fruit juice is full of essential vitamins and nutrients your body is craving and might even help your body recover faster by pushing out impurities. Theories about exercising your way out of a hangover abound, but experts have mixed feelings about its effectiveness and safety. Quality sleep might be a better choice, and a more welcome one at that!
If you’re going out on the town, and you know what a weak-willed person you are, there are a few precautions that may lighten the morning blues. Gear up with a good night’s sleep and multivitamins before you imbibe. Eat before and during your evening out. A stomach full of food, especially carbs and fats, will keep the alcohol from absorbing so quickly and give your body more time to process it. Stay hydrated. Drink plenty of water before you go out and between every cocktail.
At the end of the day, prevention is still the best cure. Aspire to moderate. Your body will thank you in the morning. Cheers!